The Lurking Monster of Self-Pity
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by Jon Buck
We’ve all been there.
Some event happens, and we find ourselves thinking, “That’s just not FAIR!”
Maybe we got passed over for a promotion.
Maybe we got mistreated in a relationship.
Maybe we can’t afford what someone else can afford—a car, a vacation, etc.
But, no matter what the event, the monster of self-pity is lurking in our hearts, always ready to pounce on us.
And our inner monologue of thoughts begins to increase in volume.
What’s Wrong with Self Pity?
Sometimes life really is unfair. And we convince ourselves that we are justified in feeling these things. However, the problem with self-pity is that, at the root, it is simply grumbling. The difficult circumstance or relationship has caused us to grumble, and that grumbling is *always* directed at God.
Grumbling, according to Paul, is sinful. He commands us to NOT grumble. And he also says that it is the human condition. He said in Phil. 2:14-15:
Do all things without grumbling or complaining; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world.
Paul’s generation, just like ours, was marked by unremitting grumbling. For that reason, those who do not grumble appear like lights in the dark!
So how do we stop grumbling when life really is unfair?
Complaint and Faith
The bible lays out a very simple path to killing self pity. It centers around two simple truths -
God is sovereign. He could change your circumstance, but He isn’t. (Pslm 115:3, Prov. 21:1)
God loves you! The situation you’re in is for your good! (Rom 8:28, 1 Peter 5:6-7)