“It was not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse; for my righteousness was Jesus Christ Himself, the same yesterday, and today, and for ever.” - John Bunyan
One of the most fascinating things about the human mind is how it can process complex concepts rapidly, and with great understanding. And one of the most complex notions that we encounter as Christians is the concept of self-analysis. We can often be quick to examine our hearts and motives, and, at times, find ourselves despairing over whether we have truly submitted ourselves to Christ.
We might call this a ‘lack of assurance’ or ‘struggling with doubt’, but these internal dialogues are intense, and can be soul-crushing battles with fear and despair. And, of course, the Bible affirms that nothing will ever separate us from the love of Christ, and so we can trust that God will bring us through. But at times, it doesn’t feel that way.
One of the greatest causes of this breed of doubt is our own internal thoughts and self-analysis. These may take the form of sinful temptations, of sinful thoughts and desires, of an awareness of lack of love for Jesus, or countless other forms. These can sometimes come in tidal waves, and leave us bruised and battered, and filled with doubts about our salvation.
Now - if you’re careful, you’ll notice that this is an interesting phenomenon—we are doubting our salvation because we have doubts. In other words, the doubts themselves become infinitely regressive—doubts lead to doubting, and doubting leads to greater doubting, etc. This toilet bowl of confusion can pull our faith down rapidly.
It’s helpful to know that one of the greatest Puritan pastors, John Bunyan, struggled with this same issue.
At its core, this mode of thinking is actually works-righteousness, disguised as a subtle form of godliness.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ informs us that God does not accept us based on our good or bad ‘frames’, as Bunyan calls them. My own internal confidence, my own internal victory, my own internal struggle—these are neither the cause of my salvation, nor the forfeiting of it. In fact, none of my works, either good or bad, are the cause of my salvation.
In fact, the beauty of the Gospel is that I am accepted by God because of the righteousness of Jesus Christ alone. On my very best day, filled with joy and faith and service to God, I am no more loved than on my very worst day, filled with fear and doubt and struggle. God has accepted me in the righteousness of Jesus alone, and that cannot change.
So—how do we fight these doubts and fears?
The answer, of course, cannot come from inside us. Everything inside of us is confused and broken in those moments. So the answer must come from outside of us—the answer must come from God’s Word.
God has spoken, and His word is true. When He tells me that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners (1 Tim 1:15), this is true. I must trust His word more than I trust my own thoughts. I must remind myself that, yes, I am a sinner, but Jesus came to save sinners…Yes, I am sinfully doubting, but Jesus died for sinners…yes, I am fearful, but Jesus Christ came to rescue those who fear.
It is the Word—read, and believed—that will set me free. As another wise sinner like Bunyan once said, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.”
